Friends,
This week we continue our worship series, “Recipe for Loving Relationships”. This week we will be discussing patience and forgiveness. I invite you to take these short quizzes from Gary Chapman’s book, Love As a Way of Life, to assess yourself in practicing patience and forgiveness. As you take the quiz, consider your most common words and actions. As we take steps to grow in our life of love, it is important to realize where we are now.
PATIENCE QUIZ
Adapted from Love as a Way of Life by Gary Chapman
Take the following self-test to see how often you respond in patience – choice c – to people in difficult situations.
- When someone cuts in front of me on the road or in line, I. . .
a. Honk on my horn, snap at the person, or do something else to show my annoyance.
b. Figure I probably did something wrong.
c. Take a deep breath.
- The last time someone got angry with me, I. . .
a. Got defensive and yelled.
b. Retreated.
c. Listened.
- When someone fails to meet my expectations, I. . .
a. Get angry at him.
b. Give up.
c. Figure out how to encourage him.
- When someone I love messes up – again – I. . .
a. Tell her I’m not sure if she’ll ever get her life together.
b. Look the other way.
c. Offer support of who she is even if I don’t agree with what she did.
- When I do something wrong, I. . .
a. Get so annoyed with myself that it’s hard to concentrate on anything else.
b. Feel I am a bad person.
c. Apologize.
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FORGIVENESS QUIZ
Adapted from Love as a Way of Life by Gary Chapman
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- When someone wrongs me, I am most likely to. . .
a. Stop speaking to the person until he or she apologizes.
b. Ignore what happened and move on.
c. Confront the person with my feelings.
- If someone I love refuses to apologize to me, I. . .
a. Get angry and leave the room.
b. Pretend it doesn’t matter to me.
c. Tell him or her that I am ready to forgive at any time.
- When the memory of a wrong done to me comes to mind, I. . .
a. Remind the person of the pain he or she caused.
b. Tell myself I shouldn’t remember that kind of thing.
c. Try to release my anger and spend my energy thinking about something else.
- When I make a mistake, I am most likely to. . .
a. Explain why it wasn’t my fault
b. Dwell on my mistake privately and feel bad about it.
c. Go to the person I wronged and ask for forgiveness.
- When someone confronts me with something I did wrong, I. . .
a. Get defensive and blame someone else.
b. Change the subject.
c. Confess what I did wrong and ask for forgiveness.
As you look at this brief test, how often did you answer a? If that was a common answer, you are likely to react in anger when someone hurts you; you might need to become more aware of how your anger affects you. If your most frequent answer was b, you probably try to avoid conflict in a relationship – even if it means allowing a barrier to remain between you and someone else. The goal for forgiveness to us understand why confrontation, forgiveness, and release – those c answers – are so important to loving with an authentic love.